Problems with neighbors

     First and foremost, we suggest you politely speak with your neighbor. They may be unaware that their behavior is a concern to you. Tact is always the best approach, especially if there is no violation of the law, or if enforcement would require expensive legal action.
    Your behavior affects your neighbors, just as their behavior affects you. The key to minimizing conflict with your neighbor is to take responsibility for being a good neighbor yourself. What does being a good neighbor look like? It doesn’t mean that you have to be best friends or spend time together. Simple consideration and appropriate communication with your neighbor is all that is necessary.
                                                                       Meet Your Neighbor
    Introduce yourself, perhaps at the mailbox, when taking a walk, or when you see the moving boxes arrive. Learning your neighbors’ name and regularly offering a cordial “good morning” or “hello” can be the start of a positive relationship. Don’t worry about whether or not they reciprocate. The important thing is that you are making an effort. Don’t wait until you have a problem to meet your neighbor.
  Contact your neighbor before you do something that might affect them—such as hosting a big party, building a fence, cutting down a tree, or getting a new dog. Informing your neighbors ahead of time allows them to make plans or tell you how your project will affect them. Getting their input lets you act in a way that avoids problems. Treat your neighbors the way they would like to be treated. Set an example by, being considerate about noise from vehicles, tools, stereos, group activities, and pets Differences in age, ethnic background, years in the neighborhood, etc. can lead to conflicting expectations or misunderstandings unless we make an effort to communicate and understand each other. How does your compost pile, dog run, or son’s car parts look from your neighbors’ backyard or windows? Keep areas that are in others’ view reasonably presentable. If your neighbor does something you like, tell them! They will be pleased that you noticed the yard work or the new paint job. It will be easier to talk later when they do something that you don’t like.
                                                     When There is a Problem
    Don’t Assume That Discussing a Problem Will Aggravate Your Neighbor Your neighbors can’t help resolve a problem they don’t know exists. If your focus. Learning rather than delivering a message Understanding and acknowledgement rather than blame Joint problem solving rather than who is at fault your conversation will go better than you think. Time and time again, we’ve found that neighbors are not aware that their actions are negatively affecting others. Usually, people are willing to make changes if you approach them respectfully. If your neighbor does something that bothers you, let them know. By communicating early and calmly, you take a big step forward toward resolving the problem. Don’t wait until a minor irritation becomes a major issue and makes it difficult to discuss. Conflict is inevitable whenever two or more people interact with one another. It occurs because we are all unique individuals with different perspectives, values, and needs. Focusing on the issue will allow you to take care of the problem while maintaining or improving your relationship with your neighbor. Talk directly with the neighbor involved with the problem. Don’t gossip or spread rumors with other neighbors. Gossip damages relationships and can hurt other people. Problem solving is only possible when we treat each other with respect. If a neighbor approaches you accusingly about a difficulty, listen carefully and thank them for telling you how they feel. You don’t have to agree or justify your behavior. If you can listen and not react defensively, then their anger will subside, the lines of communication will remain open, and there is a good chance of working things out. When you discuss a problem, try to understand how your neighbor feels about an issue and why. Understanding, which is not the same as agreeing, will increase the likelihood of a solution that works for you both. Summarize what you hear and ask questions to clarify your understanding of their view of the problem. If you need to, take a break to calm down and think about what you and your neighbor have discussed. Arrange a time to finish the conversation later, and then do so. It’s hard to problem solve when you are having a heated discussion. Constructive communication can resolve conflict, and talking things over directly is the best way to handle problems, and avoid enforcement or the courts. Sometimes disputes can be solved by simply asking nicely. Don't be too afraid or too proud to ask a neighbor for something. A violent, hostile neighbor is rare, but if you feel that a nearby resident is posing a serious threat to you and your family, increase your security and notify the police to be on standby.
                                                    Managing Your Relationships
    Whether it’s the neighbor who always complains about your yard or the boss who is never happy with your work, we all have to deal with difficult people in our lives. Most people deal with a difficult person by dwelling on what they don’t like about that person (for example their yelling, their condescending tone, attitude, etc) and then wishing that he or she would change. Not surprisingly, this method of managing difficult people rarely creates the change we desire. For most of us, our personal experience of conflict moves through a series of phases that together make up a self-perpetuating cycle. This cycle can be positive or negative depending on the beliefs and attitudes about conflict that we developed at an early age from behaviors modeled by our parents, teachers, and friends and our personal experiences with conflict. Someone says or does something, and our perception of the other person’s intent sparks an automatic response based on our attitudes and beliefs. This, in turn, triggers a consequence that usually reinforces our belief systems and perpetuates our behavior pattern. The key to dealing with a difficult person is to change your attitudes and behaviors in order to change your relationship with that person. You can do this more successfully by: Taking the responsibility to examine your thoughts and feelings about the difficult person. Understanding what kind of relationship you would like to have with the person who is giving you a difficult time. Taking notice of the behavior that you observe rather than making assumptions about what that behavior means, and Examining your approach to communicating with that person. The next time you are confronted by a difficult person, take the time to examine your own thoughts and feelings about that person. What do you see them doing that causes you to react negatively? Consider the following examples: Facial expressions Eye contact or lack of eye contact Gestures The sound of their voice Volume changes in their voice such as screaming or whining The actual words and the meaning of the words that are used Pay close attention to their behavior patterns. What is working and what is not? Have you made assumptions about what these actions mean? We usually pay attention to our own assumptions instead of what is actually taking place. Next, pay attention to your behavior patterns. What is working and what is not? What do others do that works better? If you don’t set aside your assumptions you may never have an understanding about what is really going on and what are you are responding to. Now, take the time to consider how your actions may affect the other person. What assumptions are they making about you? Using the examples above, consider the message you may be sending them. Finally, decide what you would like the relationship to be and make a plan that will move you toward that goal. What do you want them to know? How will you present yourself? What will you say? Treat every interaction with a difficult person as an opportunity to improve your relationship. Allow yourself to see the larger patterns of behavior, both theirs and yours. Imagine that you are a neutral third party examining your interactions with the difficult person from a fresh point of view. Become familiar with the type of approach to conflict that you normally use with that person and examine how it works. If it isn’t working exchange it for a thoughtful alternative that will move you toward the relationship that you want with that person.
                                                         THE POWER OF ATTITUDE

    Our lives are not determined by what happens to us, but how we react to what happens; not by what life brings to us, but by the attitude we bring to life. A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events, and outcomes. It is a catalyst..... a spark that creates Extraordinary Results